Nine Month Anniversary of Larry's Passing

Your loved one’s life will continue to live on in your heart and in your memories. Death doesn’t finalize their life so long as you continue to keep them in your heart and mind. It’s important that we keep those memories and honor the lives of those we lost.

The snow finally melted and it dried out enough for Larry's headstone to be put in. I love how it turned out and I love the beautiful views that surround it!

Bekah is in her 2nd semester of college. College and living on her own have been very difficult for her, but she was determined to go and Alyssa and I have put together a calendar to rotate going to Rexburg every week to help her with all of the little things. I really enjoy visiting her there and enjoying the beautiful view from her balcony at her apartment. One of the weeks we were there I took the kids to the trampoline park there called "Gravity Factory". It was so much fun and we will definitely be going again!!!

Enoch graduated summa cum laude (I had no idea until I read it on the program--Congrats Enoch!) from Snow College with an Associates degree in business. Joining us in our celebration were Enoch's girlfriend, Taylee, and her parents. Taylee was on the dance team for Snow. Bronco Mendenhall also graduated from Snow College and was there as the main speaker at the commencement. This was very fitting for Enoch given how much he loves sports, especially BYU football!

After graduation we headed over to visit with my brother, Matt, who lives in Kanosh. We had so much fun playing games, playing with his new puppy and just visiting!

On our way home from Provo we stopped in to see Elder Ward in Provo and spent a few hours at the park together. Love these twinners so much.❤

Rachel loves to dance so much and we are just so, so grateful that God has blessed  her with the ability to do so despite her diagnosis of A-T. She has been dancing on Noelle's dance team since we moved to Clifton in 2007.

Nate's Spring Recital 2023. I love watching him perform. He is so much fun to watch!!!

On May 24th was Larry and I's 26th wedding anniversary. One of the three things that Larry ask us to do every year as a family in his memory was to attend the temple together as a family. We tried to get into the Mt. Timpanogos temple in American Fork where we were married, but sadly they were closed for cleaning. Instead we were able to go through the beautiful city center temple. This temple also holds a special place in our hearts as it was where we used to attend stake conference when the boys were little and this building was a tabernacle.

We Celebrated Mother's Day this month. It just wasn't the same without Larry and his midnight run to the store to buy a present and/or him pulling an all nighter to finish a project that he knew was important to me. Rachel made me a beautiful card on a paper plate and Nate wrapped himself up in a box for me to open. I was able to spend an enjoyable Sunday dinner with all of my children.

ACE progress. The store is still moving forward, slowly but surely. One of our biggest hold ups at this point is the sprinkler inspection. Our new projected opening date is the end of August. The building should be completed by the end of July and then it takes a month for them to stock the store. I am so grateful to Enoch who has been working as the superintendent of this project. I know this job has been overwhelming to him at times because this is not something that he has ever done before, but he is doing an amazing job and I know that he is learning a lot.

Other Fun Pictures from the Month

Dallin & Spencer, who share a house together in Malad, have decided to raise chickens. They are in the process of building their own chicken coop out of the old pallets from the store. 

We are finally able to enjoy playing yard games!!! My competitive boys spent well past dark playing a couple round of croquet together making up special rules as they went along.

Random pictures of Nate and Rachel's dogs. We finally got an underground electric fence put in for them in the back yard so that they quit messing everything up in my front yard, destroying packages when the UPS man comes, and killing chickens. Nate and Rachel are enrolled in dog 4-H this summer so they can better learn to train and work with their dogs.

Outings with friends. It was so fun to finally catch up with this busy lady, Lain, and her adorable son, Drew. Lain is the wife of our now superientendant and has been such a good friend since we moved to the Clifton area. She was one of Enoch's biggest supporters through his wrestling, football, and track years. She is a Westside "Pirate" through and through and continues to be a huge support for all of the youth in our area.

The three of us have been trying to get together for lunch for quite some time. Marla (on the left), who also has a son with disabilities, that is Ben's age, has been one of my dearest friends since we met in Malad almost 15 years ago. Lori (in the middle) is Larry's cousin and moved from Utah to Malad a few years ago into Marla's ward and they have gotten to be good friends. She was very close to Larry and and also has dealt with a lot of health struggles. These are two amazing ladies whom I am so grateful to know and love.

I came to know this lady better through my calling of delivering birthday gifts to sisters in the ward. Even though Chris could be my mother we have a lot in common and I had so much fun visiting with her when I dropped off her birthday gift. 

This is Larry's prius that we put 30,000 miles a year on since purchasing it three years ago. I have sold this car to my son, Dallin, and his wife, Alyssa with 175,000 miles on it and purchased one with only 30,000 miles on it.

Before selling the prius I had to get some things fixed on it. While the car was in the shop Nate, Rachel, and I found a cute miniature golf coarse to go to in Logan.

Rachel's Christmas Miracle

Rachel had surgery at Primary Children's today to have her feeding tube button taken out and closed up. When she had this tube put in back in January 2017, almost five years ago, I never thought this day would come. This has been one of the many miracles that we have witnessed as we have traveled the road of having three children with the degenerative disease of ataxia-telangiectasia (A-T). I know that our angel "Larry" was smiling down from heaven today and will continue to watch over our family and these incredible children. Rachel has a lot of anxiety in relation to medical procedures. She said that she prayed for her dad to be with her at the hospital and she said that she could feel his presence there with her.❤😇

Rachel January 2017 (6 1/2 years old). The feeding tube that Rachel had placed was such a blessing to her. After years of agonizing over this decision, and watching Rachel struggle to thrive, we made the very hard and gut-wrenching decision to have the surgery to have this tube placed. This was one of the best decisions we every made. Rachel gained 25 pounds the first year. The supplemental feedings also helped her to have a lot more energy. She did the feedings at school during the day and at home in the evenings.

When Larry's health took a sharp decline in 2021 so many things in my life went to the back burner, including keeping up on Rachel's tube feedings. When Larry passed Rachel had went a good year without having them and she miraculously was still growing and had fairly good energy levels.

Even though the tube has been a blessing it has also been somewhat of a nuisance when she does things like dance, ski, or try to put on a harness so that she can rock climb. She has also been very guarded of her stomach as it can be very painful if she gets hit wrong. 

About a month after Larry passed Rachel ask me about having her tube removed. I was very hesitant about doing this as it is so much work to get the tube established, especially the first year which included many trips back to Primary Children's to have her tube replaced when it came out. I finally agreed to meet with the doctor at Primary's about it. He thought taking it out was a great idea because Rachel's growth looked great and she was doing a lot better with her ability to eat.

Her surgery went really well and Rachel is really looking forward to her new life without having this button in her stomach. We are so grateful for this Christmas Miracle!

Rachel meeting with doctor and picture of her button.

Rachel before and after surgery. The doctor told us that she should be completely healed from the surgery within a few weeks.

Three Month Anniversary of Larry's Passing

October 26, 2022 - November 26, 2022

It still feels so surreal that Larry is really gone. We are doing well, all things considered, but our family will never be the same again in this life and that is a lot to process and wrap our hearts and mind around.

I no longer have a husband to touch, confide in, or depend on for the many things he did to take care of our family. My children no longer have a father to hug, cuddle up with, play with, look up to, or draw from his wealth of knowledge. What we have been left with is a deep hole in our hearts that will always be there until we are reunited as a family. This hole leaves us with grief that we know will always be there, but will lessen with the passing of time.

We have also been left with so many wonderful memories and so many wonderful blessings from Larry being part of our lives. We have been blessed with an incredible eternal family, we have been blessed by Larry's testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and his love for his Savior, we have been blessed by his example of service to others, we have been blessed by his intellect and all of the things he taught our family (from his scriptural knowledge, mechanical knowledge and skills, to his wealth of knowledge about our country and the principles of freedom), and his many years of hard work that have put our family in a position to be able to carry on in his absence. 

This month we celebrated Larry's birthday and Thanksgiving. His birthday, which was November 12th, fell on a Saturday this year and we celebrated it at the Dude Ranch in Malad with our Ward Feed & Seed crew. This company has been his baby since 2007 and I know that Larry would have been pleased that we celebrated his birthday in this way. I also made and served his favorite dessert that I made him every year for his birthday. It is the Robert Redford dessert (aka Better Than Sex cake) that starts with a crunchy layer made of flour, butter, and nuts followed by a layer of cream cheese, powdered sugar and vanilla, then a pudding layer and topped off with cool whip and shaved nuts and chocolate on top. Yummy! Sadly, he had not been able to eat it for the past couple of years, but our employees happily enjoyed it for him.

For Thanksgiving we went to Larry's brother, Lonny's, house in Genola, UT. We call this group of family our "Southern Ward Family". We spent the first six year of our marriage living by this part of the family and we have remained close through the years. I am so grateful that they have always opened up their home to us with open arms, especially during this year of grief that we are going through. Thanksgiving without Larry there was hard, especially as we sat down for dinner and it was blatantly obvious that there was an empty chair. Regardless of the hole that we felt, we still had a great time eating, visiting, and playing games. The kids had a blast having a nerf war at the church and playing ping pong out in the garage. Grief is an interesting thing as you can experience fun, joy, and happiness while at the same time feeling a constant nagging of loss inside your body. We have chosen to move forward and live our best lives through the grief as there is so much of life still to live and that is what Larry would have wanted us to do.

The day after Thanksgiving I was able to do my weekly temple trip at the beautiful Payson, UT temple. Rachel and I went and did some baptisms and confirmations for some of our ancestors. After the temple we were able to meet up with Enoch, his girlfriend, Tailey, and her family for lunch.

After lunch with Tailey's family we were able to go down to Kanosh and visit my sister, Ann, and her family and also my brother, Matt. I love and miss them so much and was grateful to have this opportunity as I don't get to see them very often. Bekah was able to get in some much needed "baby therapy" time with baby Emily.

The ACE store continues to go up. This has been very healing to watch Larry's work from the past six years come to fruition.

Other Random Events From the Month

Our first snow storm of the year!

I was able to take these two cuties (Nate and his friend Ashton) to the library for the monthly reading club.

We received the most thoughtful gifts from our Bishop and his wife, Hollie. The BYU football that was given to Nate will be treasured forever. The girls and I received these beautiful necklaces. For my necklace Hollie had taken a picture of parts a letter that Larry had written to me that was displayed at the funeral and had the words in Larry's writing put on my necklace. On the front of my necklace it says, "My Dearest Jill" and on the back it says"Love Larry" all in his beautiful handwriting that I love so much. The girls necklaces say "Love You Dad" also in Larry's handwriting. Benjamin received a key chain with our family motto on it--"Everyday In Every Way We Get A Little Better. Hurrah for Israel!"

I got a copy of the pattern to make this memory bear out of Larry's clothing. This should be a fun Christmas project for me and the girls!

On our way to UT County for Thanksgiving we stopped at Primary Children's for an appointment for Rachel. Miraculously, she has not used her feeding tube in a year and a half and is doing great! She is scheduled for surgery to have the tube removed on December 22nd. I never thought this day would come. What a miracle!!!

Picture in front of Bekah's apartment and Nate giving Bekah a much needed hug.❤

A few other tools I have picked up this month to help with the grieving process.