Angels Among Us

This coming Wednesday marks four long, lonely years since the love of my life, and my children's father, graduated from this life and returned to the arms of the Master Healer. There is a quote that says: "The hardest part of being a widow is knowing that your love story doesn't have an ending, just a pause." I believe that our love stories do continue, but just in a different way. Jeffrey R. Holland said, "I testify that angels are sent to help us. Ask for angels to help you." I don't claim to know how a lot of this works, but I can testify that our angel, Larry, is still watching over us and helping us in so many different ways.

Shortly after his passing Nate, Rachel, and I were coming home after dark and I could see the dreaded reflection of our cows eyes right in the middle of the highway in front of our property. As any one who works with cows knows, they can be very naughty and can be very hard to get back in, especially after dark. Having a property where there were so many different directions they could run also made it challenging. I said a little prayer and had Rachel hold the gate open for them to run into. I put Nate in a position where he could head them off if they tried to go the wrong way. I herded them down the road towards the open gate. To my great astonishment they walked right down the lane as if being guided by an unseen figure. I knew that Larry was there helping us.

Larry had been sick for nine years before his passing. The last year of his life was extremely stressful for all of us, particularly for me being the caretaker of so many people. I was constantly having to pick the most urgent needs to attend to. Rachel had been on a feeding tube for about six years, but I was not able to keep her on it that year because it was just too much for me. A few months after Larry passed, Rachel asked me about having her feeding tube removed because she hadn't  needed it in so long. It was not something I had really thought about, but I told her I would take her to the doctor and talk to him about it. The doctor said she was growing and thriving without the feeding tube and he gave us his blessing on having it removed. The December after Larry's passing Rachel had surgery to have her feeding tube removed and surgically sewed up. The gravity of this miracle was confirmed the next Spring when we visited the doctor at Johns Hopkins Hospital for a doctor's visit. The doctor walked in the room and just kept saying, "A+,A+" He could not believe that Rachel had her feeding tube removed and was still thriving. As A-T is a progressive disease this is unheard of. One of the greatest desires of Larry's heart was to heal his three children with A-T and I believe he had something to do with this miracle.

Trying to put the puzzle pieces to your life back together after your spouse has passed away can be quite challenging. Our situation was extremely complex. After a lot of fasting, prayer, and a lot of indecision, I knew that we needed to do something different about our living situation. We loved where we lived, and had no real desire to move from the property that we intended to spend the rest of our lives on. This was a very emotional decision for all of us. I took a leap of faith and started looking for houses to buy (I had no desire to build a house as a single person). After several doors closed on me, it became more clear that the best thing for me to do was to build a custom home to suit my three handicap children's needs. Miraculously, the door opened for me to buy property walking distance from my kids school, the park, and the church. Building lots in this area are hard to find. We have been in our new house now for just over three months and I still stand in awe that I have been blessed with such a beautiful, functional home for our family. There were countless miracles at play for this to happen and many of them had Larry's name written all over them.

Larry and I sometimes struggled with our relationship. We were both the oldest of large families which played into our stubborn and determined personalities. We also married when we were a little bit older and set in our ways (I met Larry just after he had turned 30), but we were both very committed to God and to our family. As the time grew closer to the time of his passing, I was heartbroken to come to the harsh realization that many of the rifts between us were not going to be resolved in this life. What I didn't understand is that as I turned to the Lord he would heal my heart and things could continue to be healed between us, even if we weren't physically together. On one particularly hard day when I was questioning whether or not Larry really loved me, or if he was even there, I sat down in my car. A very meaningful, beautiful song that I knew was from Larry started to play. That song has played on different occasions as I have needed it.

Larry's hard work ethic, genuine interest in other people, and intelligence continues to live on in all of my children. I have especially seen it manifest in my three older boys who are all now married and have children of their own. Larry's years of hard work and vision have greatly blessed all of their lives in ways that I couldn't even imagine. Family life has always been of utmost importance to both of us, particularly having mom at home with the children. In today's world that can be extremely hard to do, but the boys' involvement with our family business has allowed each of them to be the providers for their families. I know that Larry has had a hand in this and looks down on his boys with great love. I know he is very pleased with how each of his children are conducting their lives and blessing their families and the people around them.

Since Larry's passing, I have made an extra conscious effort to make sure that Nate (my youngest) is learning all of the boy stuff that his brothers had learned. They learned a lot from their father, but most of them were also Eagle Scouts. Because the LDS church broke away from boy scouts, boy scout troops can be hard to find. There are none in my immediate area, but I was so grateful that troop 1776 welcomed Nate with open arms. Larry and I have been pretty strict about not allowing sleep overs. I was naturally quite nervous about Nate going to the week-long camp in Bear Lake this past summer with people that I didn't know very well. I prayed that Larry would watch over him while he was away. The morning I dropped him off, I was surprised, but thrilled, to see that someone I knew, and trusted, from Malad was going to be at the camp. I was even more surprised to receive a text from Larry's brother, Lyle (who is from Utah), saying that he had just seen Nate at scout camp. I was blown away. I had no idea that Lyle was even a scout leader considering that he did not have any boys that age and scouting was no longer part of the LDS church. What makes this story even more miraculous is that out of all of the troops from ID and UT Lyle's camp was right next to Nate's troop. Again, I believe that Larry had a hand in orchestrating all of these things.

In April 2025 Larry's Father, Welton, passed away. As Larry was the oldest of ten children, it would have been his rightful place to offer the family prayer at the funeral. I was very honored that his family asked me to give that prayer in his place. I was somewhat anxious about being given this assignment, but I was so amazed at the peace that I felt the morning of the funeral. I could feel Larry's presence with me, and even more astonishing were the words that I spoke during the prayer. I knew they were being guided and influenced by him. 

The large family picture I have attached, with the light shining down, is such a miracle to me and is another manifestation that we are being watched over by Larry. This picture was taken at Ben & Bekah's missionary homecoming last summer, and the light is shining directly over where Ben and Bekah are standing.

Even though life can be very difficult at times for those of us left behind, I testify that we are surrounded by angels who can be a great blessing to our lives if we will just ask for their help and watch for their manifestations. I am so grateful for a loving God and the angels that have blessed mine and my family's lives.