Difficulties are Just Things to Overcome Afterall

Ernest Shackleton was an explorer who was determined to walk across Antartica. When ice trapped his ship, Endurance, his mission instantly changed from exploration to pure survival. Shackleton led his crew of 28 men to safety after 497 days of being trapped near Antartica, long after others had presumed they had all perished in the rough Antartic terrain. He very courageously went on to make three more expeditions to Antartica and coined the phrase, "difficulties are just things to overcome, afterall."

A few months ago we received news that the cancer in Larry's liver was gone! This felt like a 497 day expedition across the Antartica and we both felt optimistic about finally returning to dry ground. About a month ago we embarked on another trip to the Antartic when he started having trouble with jaundice due to inability to drain the bile from his body. Today marks our fifth hospital admission for this problem in just over a month. This has been very hard on Larry, myself, and our children. After going through a wave of mixed emotions I am having to remember, "difficulties are just things to overcome, afterall." This is how we approached our original cancer journey and how we must continue to look at it in this light if we are going to survive.

When we got to the hospital this morning Larry was in a lot of pain and feeling very discouraged. Last night when I realized that we were headed back to the hospital I was starting to feel hopeless as they have tried four different methods to fix his drain problem and so far nothing has worked effectively. After listening to a presentation that Spencer shared with me (see bottom of article) and meeting with the doctors at the hospital this morning, I realized that we just have more difficulties to overcome and there are more options to consider.

The first and second hospital stays are included in my previous post. The third time we ended up in the hospital was the day of Larry's niece, Ellie's baptism. He had been feeling the itching for a few days, but both of us were optimistic that if we just gave it a few days that things would get better. On the morning of the baptism Larry was itching so bad (sign that your bile is building up in your blood stream). Our plan was to go to the baptism and then have Larry evaluated at the Logan ER. Even though Larry was not feeling good we really took our time in getting him in because we were enjoying our time with our family and likely subconsciously avoiding dealing with the inevitable. I dropped Larry off at the ER and took Bekah shopping for a prom dress.

We had just got to the dress shop at the mall when I got the dreaded phone call from Larry. The x-ray showed that the stent had come out again and Larry's bilirubin levels were starting to climb. Unbelievable!!! The doctors were 100% confident that this new stent would do the trick. The doctor told us that theoretically if the stents are sliding out then you don't need them. He also told us that nothing about Larry's case has been normal so he wasn't totally surprised. 

I was so angry and upset that we were back to square one. It felt like a nightmarish groundhog day that was never going to end. I am so grateful for Larry's sister and my son Spencer and his girlfriend, Molly, being willing to step in and help out. I was a complete mental mess and not thinking clearly at all. We finished picking out Bekah's prom dress and then I left to go and get Larry.

We finally made it down to IMC on Saturday evening. The ERCP went very well the next day and they placed two double piggy back stents in Larry's common bile duct so that the bile would drain from his body. This is an older style of stent that they don't use very often, but it is one that they were confident would stay in place. They also placed two of them as the openings for the stents are a lot smaller than the metal ones. Larry was also prescribed bile thinner that he was supposed to temporarily take to help ensure that the bile would flow through the stents. 

A couple of days after getting home Larry started itching and turning yellow again.😢 We were both so devastated and discouraged. We just kept moving forward and hoping that it would start to work, but by the following Sunday he was glowing yellow and in so much discomfort from itching. We had a dinner scheduled with Molly's parents, that we had already had to reschedule, and Larry was very determined to go. Even though he wasn't feeling the best, we enjoyed an amazing meal and had a very nice time with her family.

We waited until later that evening to call Dr. Ott. We knew that as soon as he was aware of Larry's condition he would want us back to the hospital asap. We left for the hospital for our 4th time in a month on Monday morning. We didn't want to go and it was such a dramatic departure, particularly for Bekah. She was not feeling well and was begging us to stay home. She was struggling specifically with extreme fear and anxiety. Larry gave Bekah a priesthood blessing and then ask her to please pray for him and he told her that he would pray for her. It was a very tender moment. I was so grateful that my dear friend, Talina, was able to come and be with Bekah and take care of her for the day. I truly do not know what I would do without all of the incredible people that I am surrounded by. 

I knew that Larry was likely headed back to the excruciatingly painful surgery that he had had performed the initial time that he went to the hospital for jaundice, about a year previous. Placing an external stent is always an option, but they try to do everything else first because it is so invasive and not a very good long term solution, but it is very effective in getting the job done. When we got to the hospital Larry was so yellow and his bilirubin was at a 12 (the first time we went in for jaundice when he was diagnosed with cancer he was at a 9). The scans showed that the stents that had been placed the previous week were still in place, but they were all clogged. When we were finally able to start draining the bile from his body, there were chunks in it. The doctor said that was somewhat normal. One thought that we had is that possibly the cancer is breaking up and trying to expel itself from his body and it keeps blocking the duct. Who knows!!!???

The procedure went well (much better than the first time when he started bleeding really bad and they had to redo the whole procedure) and we came home the next day. Larry describes the pain after as feeling like you have an arrow stuck in you or have a bullet wound. He did well at that hospital at keeping his pain under control because he was able to have pain meds through his iv. We only stayed one night in the hospital and were very anxious to get home, but after spending the next couple of days in excruciating pain, we realized that we probably should have spent a couple of more days in the hospital. The car ride home was rough and transitioning over to less effective oral pain control was rough. He could not get comfortable and had a very hard time sleeping.

While we were away we had lots of angels step in to help out and we appreciate them so much. The person that brought us dinner realized that things were in disarray at our house because we are in the middle of doing some remodeling in our kitchen. She and another friend have offered to come help with this project. Everyday I think I am going to get something done I end up dealing with a crises.

From the tests we know that Larry's billirbun is climbing again and we are going to have a drain study done in the morning to possibly detect any problems with the bile flow. We know that they are discussing different options and we should know more tomorrow.

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The transport bed they used for Larry at our 4th hospital stay. It was very symbolic to how he was feeling as he was getting ready to have the dreaded external drain placed.

The following is a presentation about achieving optimal health using God's Way:

https://healthsaves.org/webinars/health-in-gods-way-conference/

Patience, Patience, and more Patience!

I like order and I like plans, but once again I am having to develop more patience and flexibility as Larry is experiencing symptoms of an obstructed bile duct.😒This was very unexpected to both of us as Larry had just had the stent in his common bile duct replaced a couple of weeks prior.

On Monday, March 21st we were both at work together and Larry came in and just sat in front of the heater because he was cold and had the chills. It wasn't very cold outside and it is not normal for him to just come and sit in the office. I had a gut feeling that he had developed an infection from his missing stent and convinced him to go to the emergency room in Malad to get checked out. They consulted with Dr. Ott and began strong IV antibiotics. Malad has always been great to help us out and we love their personal service, but looking back we should have just went straight to the ER at IMC in Murray where they placed his original stent.

We were transferred from the Malad ER to the ER in Murray. After a long process getting through the ER, Larry continued on strong antibiotics for infection and was admitted to the hospital. We were so grateful that Dr. Ott, who specializes in pancreatic surgery and was the doctor who finally diagnosed Larry with pancreatic cancer, was at the hospital and he took us under his wing through our whole stay.

They did find that the original two stents were still there, but just not in place where they should have been. The ERCP that they performed was very complicated and took about 2 1/2 hours (I was told 1 1/2 -2) so I became quite worried after a couple of hours. The last time he had went through an ERCP was when Dr. Ott got involved with our case because they weren't able to get the stent in. It was a scary situation for all of us because Larry was so sick and not being able to put a stent in could have cost him his life. 

In the end they were able to remove the two stents that were out of place and just put one stent in the common bile duct. Little did we know that we would be coming back in two weeks to repeat the same process over again.

Our children's Spring break was the week of March 28th. Rachel had been begging me to go to the ocean as she had never been and our trip to Texas last spring when we were supposed to go see the ocean got cancelled because of Larry's health. Nate really wanted to go to Legoland and worked extra hard to be able to go. As this is our busiest time at the feed store Larry stayed behind to help the boys run the store. Thanks to Larry's two amazing aunts, and a last minute teenage friend of ours who came along to help drive and help with kids, we were able to get away for a week and fulfill everybody's dreams. We had such a fun week, but sadly Larry started to not feel well the Tuesday after we left. He was starting to itch a lot, having some stomach pains, and just feeling really weak. He didn't tell me about it until later in the week when I was on my way home.

On Sunday on our way home from California we met Larry and the rest of my family up at the Conference Center in Salt Lake City. We had tickets for the Sunday morning session of general conference. I knew Larry was not well when I saw him. I talked to him about going to the ER after conference, but we decided to wait until Monday to see how he was feeling. Part of why he looked so rough was because he hadn't slept at night because he had been up itching all night😓 I figured that the itching had something to do with a blocked bile duct as that was a very prominent symptom he had the year before when he got his original stent. I texted Dr. Ott during conference and never did hear back from him which is very unusual for him. He usually calls back right away, but this time he called at just the perfect moment.

On Sunday night Larry came down with a fever of 100.8 and we decided we had better get him checked out. We finally made it to the ER on Monday afternoon and waited there for a couple of hours. Surprisingly, Monday is one of their busiest days of the week because everybody just waits through the weekend to see if their symptoms will go away and then they decide to go to the ER on Monday (who would have thought). An MRI showed that the stent that had been placed in his common bile duct two weeks previous was now in his colon😕 We were finally admitted to the hospital at about 1 am on Tuesday morning and scheduled for another ERCP.

I still hadn't heard from Dr. Ott, but he just happened to call right when we needed a second opinion about Larry's procedure that he was getting ready to go into. He confirmed that the direction that we had decided to go was the right one and then he showed up in the surgery room to check on Larry. Not sure what all he was involved with, but he was there kindly overseeing one of his patients. 

I was prepared for the worst because I really did not know what to expect. I ask the doctor how long he thought the procedure would take and he said he really didn't know. I came up to the room for a much needed nap and was pleasantly surprised when Dr. Ott came walking into our room to give me an update on Larry. The surgery had went really well and they were able to get the stent replaced much quicker than the previous time. We learned that the stent they had placed was a sheathed stent. They did this because it keeps the cancer from growing through the stent, but the flip side is that they can come out easily which is what they believe happened. With the new stent that they put in they used a stent without a sheath which will make it so the stent will lodge and become anchored in the body more easily.

While at the hospital we learned about a neighbor of ours that had also been admitted to IMC about the same time as us. What are the odds that two people from our little town of Oxford (population about 60) would both be at IMC at the same time? Sadly, our neighbor was life flighted to IMC because she had a massive heart attack on Monday. Miraculously she is alive and recovering. I was able to go visit with her for a few minutes while we were there. 

This little side road was not at all what I had planned for the week, but I have much to be grateful for, especially God's watchful eye over the details of my life. I am also grateful for the miracle of modern medicine and the blessing it has been in our lives. Larry wouldn't be here without it and neither would my neighbor friend. As hard as these constant trials are I am grateful for the lessons that we learn through them and how our knowledge and minds have been opened up to new ideas and new ways of thinking. I am especially grateful for God's watchful care over Larry and our family. There have always been angelic people placed in our path to ensure that our needs are taken care of. It has been a very humbling and miraculous experience to live through.

Yesterday we met with a new oncologist, Dr. Lewis, to get a second opinion about how to best move forward with Larry's treatments. Not only does Dr. Lewis specialize in neuroendocrine cancer, but he has had this type of cancer himself and actually had part of his pancreas surgically removed by Dr. Ott. Dr. Lewis also specializes in the genetic causes of cancer which is a very important component to consider in Larry's treatment plan. Larry carries the ATM gene which is notorious for increasing risk of pancreatic cancer. The icing on the cake was his extreme kindness and open-mindedness to all of the treatments we are doing.

From Dr. Lewis we learned that Larry's case is very unusual. Not only did he have the fast growing cancer adocarcinoma, but he also has neuroendocrine cancer that originated in the pancreas. The miraculously, wonderful news is that the fast growing cancer is gone!!! The treatments from Mexico coupled with four rounds of chemo and prayer seemed to be the magic bullet for us. We believe that the water fasting through chemo was a huge part of how well Larry did through chemo and Dr. Lewis agreed with this. He is familiar with the original study that was done on this at USC and even knows the doctors that did these experiments. We did learn, however, that the chemo is still circulating in Larry's body and could still cause him problems with neuropathy, but we are praying that Larry will be protected from this.

Dr. Lewis also confirmed that the original course of chemotherapy that we did, the Carboplatin and Etoposide, was the best thing we could have done. Given his expertise in the gentetic compoenent of cancer, he has recommended that we keep doing the treatments that we are doing from Mexico and start taking a pill called "Olaparib". This drug has been shown to be effective in stabalizing slower growing cancer cells, specifically in people that carry the ATM gene. It is recommended that this medication be started within two months of a patient finishing chemo and we are in the perfect window to start. Dr. Lewis will be sending us the study in the mail and I will post it on my blog for anybody that is interested.

I would like to end this post with a few thoughts. First of all the power of prayer is real and extremely powerful, even though our prayers may not always be answered how or in the time frame that we desire. I am so grateful for the many prayers that have been offered in our behalf and I know that they have been a huge part in Larry's ability to heal. I also know that cancer does not have to be a death sentence, even if you are diagnosed with Stage IV and given a very short time to live. Just like Peter of Old demonstrated by his ability to walk on the water when he believed that he could and he stayed riveted on the Savior, we can do the same with our own positive thinking. At Hope4Cancer one of the principles that they teach is the power that emotions have over our physical health. Through the years I have practiced healing meditations, prayer, foot zoning, counseling, accupuncture, massage, and other forms of emotional release and energy healing. I am just starting to grasp the connection between our emotions and health and strongly feel that this is a huge key to both keeping and maintaining our health.

Picture in front of the conference center. From L-R: Bekah, Jill, Larry, Rachel, Enoch, Nate, Spencer, Molly (Spencer's girlfriend), and Ben

Pictures from our trip to California

One of Bekah's favorite things to do is ride horses. While we were in California, Larry's aunt arranged for the kids to be able to ride horses and enjoy a petting zoo at one of her neighbors houses

Yes, that is my Nate on the left. towards the end of our day at Legoland Nate disobeyed and got lost. He went up to the front of the park, as I instructed him to do at the beginning of the day, and one of the guest service employees helped him to call me. While he was waiting for me he was rewarded with an Emmett the Lego costume that they gave him to keep (ugh! rewarded for disobeying). When I got there they said, "he is so cute". I had to agree. With his blocky build he looked just like Emmett the Lego and he strutted around the park very proud of his new look. The funniest part was that several people mistook him for the real Emmett. We could have seriously charged for pictures and autographs.

While in San Diego we had the opportunity to visit the San Diego temple. It is gorgeous!!! I have always wanted to visit here as this is where my grandparents served one of their missions. Pictures do not do this building justice. It is a must see.

The cold weather was not enough to stop these crazies from jumping the waves, swimming, building a sand castle, and collecting sea shells. Such a fun day at the beach!

On our way to Disneyland, we made a quick change in plans and ended up spending a super fun day at Universal Studios. Check out Molly and Rahcel's adorable Mickey Mouse ears hair.